This was a very peaceful, quiet Christmas...and I liked it! I really enjoyed our church's Christmas Eve Candlelight service, which started with my
Gracie playing a beautiful solo, Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring, on her cello, then Laura and I joined our drumming circle in accompanying others on Little Drummer Boy, I also sang in a quartet,
Silent Night, and in the choir as usual. It was a very musical service!! It was really wonderful to have mom here for the whole shebang also!
I cannot believe how much snow and rain we got over the course of the day!
It was fun giving mom grief about how we are going to be looking at this same snow until March or so. Her body seems to have adjusted to the colder temperature pretty well, but then again we haven't seen the -20 degree with wind chill factors in the -40 ranges yet!! Ahhhh, the teasing will continue to be a joy for months to come...hehehe
This was made from a liner you could use to start plants.
WowieZowie! The snow is coming down, I have a kitty warming my feet and I am not even upset that I am not ready for Christmas! I am sort of ambivilent about the whole holiday this year. There is too much drama with Spence's girls and his ex's issues! I just wanted everyone to try to enjoy one another on Thanksgiving, and look what that got us.....rudeness, tears of pain, anger and resentments. The dynamics of those three girls is so unhealthy, it makes me so thankful for the way my two girls are so close to each other.
This whole step-mother thing is no picnic, and don't get me wrong, I never thought it would be. I did, however, think that since they were 18, 19 and 21 years old when we got married, that it might be less work...HA HA HA HA HA!!!! I have a very good relationship with the two younger sisters, Viorica --> 
and Mari, who were adopted at four and five years old from those horrible conditions in Romania and came with their own special issues. It's not that we haven't had a couple of bumps, but I am very happy with the way we communicate and treat each other. They don't call me mom, but they do call me friend, and trust me...what a gift! Mari calls me EVERY day just to talk, and Viorica calls often and comes over at least once a week.Then there is Kristin, the oldest and adopted from Korea as a baby, who was the only child until the youngest two came, and I don't think she has ever gotten over that or the divorce for that matter. When we see her, it is like I don't even exsist. I try....I REALLY TRY, but I just don't make the cut in her world. I have pretty much just let it go, but when the holidays come around, it does stress me out. This Christmas we won't have to deal with it though, because after Thanksgiving's rude behavior and meanness towards Viorica, Spence called her and left a message saying that it wasn't going to work out for her to come over to our house for Christmas, and that they needed to talk. I wouldn't have done it that way, but this is were the step-parent thing really comes in...I have to let him try to deal with his kids his way. I suggest the parenting skills and core beliefs I have about unconditional love, and try to soften his views of these things...and that is all I can do. *sigh*
Okay....I'll try to regain some Christmas cheer and show a couple of my favorite ornaments! This is an ornament that Grace made for me in about 1st grade, of her comfort and joy...Beary Bear.
This was my first ornament! I received it in 1974 when I was Honored Queen in Job's Daughters. The 2nd was a gift from a coworker.
As my sweet friend pointed out, I have been given a gift in my mother coming to live with us. We have always grieved for the family we left behind, when we moved up here. My children never really got to know their uncles, cousins, etc, and they never got to have that special bond with their grandparents. Now they can really develop a relationship and memories that they will always cherish.
This happened yesterday after church. Their father showed up to drop off some gifts for the girls, and whether an accident or not, he was still there when we arrived, and it freaked out the girls because they didn't want a scene. Well, he left without a word, and it seemed like it was a crisis averted.
When we got home, they opened the presents with mom and I watching, at which point Laura made one of her usual angry comments about her dad, and Grace took her to task about it. For a good 30 minutes they had a very heated discussion, which has needed to take place for a while. They didn't come to any agreement, but I believe they understood what they were each trying to convey. I was only called in for interpretation once, and when they were done, my mom said a few words to Laura.
Afterward, the girls helped move in the two new couches we got from some friends, and were being their normal goofy selves. I felt very proud, to see that they could communicate such intense feelings, not totally agree on things, and then continue being the best friends they are. I must have done a few things right in the middle of all of the chaos of our lives with Jeff. But that is not the best part......
My mom and I had lunch at Baker's Square today, and talked about the whole thing. My mom got this sweet expression on her face, and told me that because the girls had that argument with her right there in the middle of everything...she finally felt like she was part of a family again! Her eyes had a twinkle in them, and I was again amazed at how easily we have all adjusted to her being in our home. You are right, Paula, I have been given a wonderful gift!
I am going to make some gift tags now....being crafty and out of my slump! HO HO HO!
Finding Faith again :-)
I used to have it,
I really did!
See...
I'll show you!
At least,
I don't remember it
taking me so longto start the creative
process before.
I find myself sitting in the chair staring at my table, not even at the paper in front of me, or one of my rubber stamp drawers....just at the table. I know that I am off this year...let's see, why is that?
- Mom broke her hip in March, and I flew from MN to IL to take care of her for three months, which did not sit well with my youngest daughter
- Coming home and having my baby graduate five days later
- Beginning a search for a new home to rent that would accommodate my mother moving in with us, finding it in one week and due to bizarre circumstances.... packing/moving in/and starting the unpacking in a two week period
- Getting Grace ready for college, and proceding to lose it once she is gone
- After having a rent-to-own situation fall through for my mom, working my magic to get her house listed (thinking it would be quite a while before it sold) and having it sell the day we put it on the market....for the asking price!
- Packing and flying out in two days to get her ENTIRE house ready to close in three weeks!!!!!!!!!
- Arranging, organizing, packing EVERYTHING
- Moving mom up here with my brother's help, and dealing with all that entails
- Beginning to unpack mom, having a month of FM flare-ups, and continuing to unpack our crap at the same time... while practically "sainting" myself in grand co-dependant style attempting to make sure mom is adjusting well
IS THAT ALL FAITH???
Oh jeez....
stop your whining
and get back to your table!
p.s. these pages were from a two page spread in an altered book where you chose a letter, and went with it.
I have become the ghost in the house. I have no job, no money of my own...my daughter has basically taken over posession of my car, so I am bound to this house, unless I ask to use my mother's car. Then there is my mother, I have been so worried about making sure that she is making this adjustment as painlessly as possible, that I put her needs before mine....always. I had no idea I was feeling so overpowered by the people living in this house with me, so invisible, and overwhelmed. ARRGGHH....I sound like some midlife crisis housewife in a Brittish comedy!
I didn't realize it, until I moved my mother into our home to live with us a little over a month ago, that I actually enjoyed the quiet and physical sensation of being alone. My mother is doing nothing to irritate me of significance (okay maybe the endless hours of Lifetime Movies, Angela Lansbury, or Golden Girls). It is just that I keep finding myself going downstairs this week to simply be alone. Weird...since I hated being alone for so many years! I guess I really have been growing on the long journey, called living!
